Being confronted with my mortality on a Monday after sitting in three hours of traffic wasn’t exactly how I imagined closing out the first half of the year—but hey, I made it to the gym. That’s progress.
There’s plenty to complain about, but let’s start with the good stuff. I spent two hours yapping with my dad yesterday and realised how alike we are, especially in how we make decisions around wellness, finances, and relationships. We reminisced about our childhoods: long walks to school, the village-style parenting that raised us, and the intentionality of parents who made time by rotating custody with their friends and neighbours. If a child broke something, the neighbour handled discipline and then relayed the story. Big toys like bicycles were shared, school pickups were passed on to the nearest available adult—or, once you turned seven, the eldest student in your school (hi, that was me).
I’ve watched my friends become parents over the last five years, and wow—things are different. We’re starting families later, thanks to advanced degrees, chasing financial success harder than our parents did, and living far more isolated lives, even though we have better tech. Somewhere along the line, we decided that paid help and chasing external validation were more important than building a satisfactory life on our own terms. I’m writing this with a wrapper tied across my chest—full Nigerian mum style—feeling guilty about unanswered invites, yet here I am, judging others for failing to meet standards they didn’t even choose.
Lately, I’ve been talking about my dad more. Getting to know him as an adult has been a trip, especially considering how much we tussled when I was younger. I held a lot of resentment for him and other family adults. But that resentment led me down a path of self-discovery, which eventually bloomed into empathy. For a man who fought through grief to give his children a good life, I have to hand it to him. My dad is actually very cool. And no, I’m not being patronising—he’s funny, handsome (if I do say so myself), loves enjoyment, and doesn’t play when it comes to instilling high agency in his kids. That mindset is what carried him far in life. Bonus points to him and my mum for blessing me with fun-as-hell siblings, because I’ve become terrible at maintaining friendships.
Now let’s talk about effort. I know too many people who want massive results without putting in the work. You want wealth, but deliver mediocre output. You want health, but your habits are fighting for their lives. You’re busy but won’t learn time management. You want a meaningful relationship, but can’t be bothered to be present. It’s okay to be lazy and dishonest, just stop dragging the rest of us who are doing the work into your confusion.
It feels like humanity is regressing, and somehow, the brightest minds are leading the charge. I’ve been frustrated by service delivery in Nigeria too, but apparently we’re not alone, there’s something in the U.S. called the Gen Z Stare? Our experiences are a direct reflection of the effort we bring into every sphere of life. If your effort is half-hearted, insincere, and self-centred, what you’ll receive is dishonesty, selfishness, and chaos. I don’t make the rules.
I was going to explore mortality more deeply here, but I’ll save that for another time. Instead, I’ll leave you with a thought that hasn’t fully formed yet:
What is the true cost of self-betrayal?
Things I enjoyed…
I finally visited the Jazzhole in Ikoyi. Nostalgia tried to save the experience, but let’s be honest—it’s poorly maintained. I loved flipping through old vinyls, but when the cheapest fungus-infested book is over $10, we have a problem. Maybe they need volunteers and funding. The place deserves to stay open—it just needs help.
Cooking my meals daily—and in the process, learning how to cook for one like a pro.
Someone put me back onto Fleetwood Mac, and I figured out how to connect my Bluetooth speaker to the TV. A glorious playlist of Foreigner, Whitney Houston, Cyndi Lauper, and Elton John was born. This is your cue to use YouTube more intentionally.
Good news from my nearest and dearest: new job, new apartments and business. May God keep their joy full.
I spent a whole day wandering about my friends’ houses and had the best Moscato I've ever tasted.
Stay Jiggy Folks,