I'm Good for you…
But you don’t want to be better
It’s 1:15pm on a hot Lagos afternoon. My flight is taking off 40 minutes later than schedule and my usual flight anxiety grips me during take-off. My heart races at uncomfortable speeds because the connection I packed up and tucked away in blind logic is caught in a storm.
I’ve known butterflies as a signal of distress, as opposed to what the romance novels tell you about connection, but I find myself unable to reason breathing the same air as this storm. I hope it passes quickly because it threatens my peace in delicious defiance and makes me ignore self-preservation for thrill-seeking.
The storm yells “I may destroy you” but isn’t destruction the start of… progress?
As expected, what I thought was a “storm” was a measly whirlwind on a hot humid day, not even strong enough to lift tumbleweed across the room. This is what makes them boring… Sweeping storms you know? They destroy or at least rough up things in their path without care, break things and don’t apologise. Could it be that I invite storms? or do I wage them? I wonder.
This part is for the girls and the girls alone!!!
Your need for self-preservation must trump your need for partnership. Romantic relationships are nice if done right—you’ll be a happier, more content version of yourself. But if done wrong, you will suffer.
I’m watching a loved one spiral after a breakup with a man who was always wrong for her. It’s painful to see her put herself in harm’s way because she’s hurting. We talk about spotting red flags early, but no one really discusses what to do after you see them. The tough conversations, the disappointment of realizing you were right, and the choice—accept the risk or walk away.
And let me tell you, it’s easier to make excuses. To rationalize their ‘make-up’ gestures. To get caught in a cycle of anxiety, waiting for the next disappointment. But read the first sentence of this section again, babes. If you stay with the wrong choice, you will suffer.
I say this as someone who lost her hair, her appetite, and her zest for life after convincing herself that her needs weren’t important. That a situation against her values wasn’t that bad. If you don’t believe me, watch this: https://www.instagram.com/share/BAJiwchqTz You matter, your peace matters and your health too.
More Fun Stuff…
Nigerian men get a lot of grief—and rightfully so. But let’s talk about the misogyny of East African men! Haibo! Rude for no reason, as if being female in their presence is an offense. From Uber drivers to hotel receptionists, dispatch riders to mall security—why so unpleasant?
It’s even more jarring because East African women are some of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Top-tier babes. Always down for a good time, always ready to offer comfort. They’ve mostly freed themselves from the shame society attaches to their sexuality and position in life. Funny enough, they make great partners for Nigerian men, and this causes serious friction in clubs. Nigerian men—while still benevolently misogynistic—are often preferred over East African men. And yes, I include myself in that judgment.
Things I Enjoyed…
Valentines Day in Nairobi!!!
If you ask me what was different, I’d say the urgency. Everyone working in the Lovers’ Joy industry—florists, pastry chefs, coffee shop servers—was on a mission. Riders zipped through Junction Mall and Sarit Centre, ensuring people got their flowers, chocolates, and cakes. The coffee shops were packed with lovers stealing moments between their busy schedules. Nothing over the top, just intentional, heartfelt gestures this is a good time to mention my colleague turned friend who sent me a sweet valentine’s gift just because. Also, the free roses handed out at bars? Loved it!
Sharing the gift of travel with Newbies to Kenya
On my flight to Nairobi, I made a new connection and got to show them the city through my eyes. A colleague also had her first trip out of the country with me. It wasn’t as adventurous as I’d have liked, but there’s something special about watching someone experience a place for the first time.
Coffee…Coffee, Glorious Coffee!
Kenyans know their hot drinks! Spiced teas, Dawa, milkshakes, and of course, their coffee—hot or frozen—are unmatched. I still need to experience Ethiopian coffee, but so far, Nairobi’s Java House, Artcaffe, and CJ’s have my heart
Spoken Word and Art
A Valentine’s Day play. A rap/spoken word performance. An R&B singer. My friend’s DJ set. Nairobi’s creative scene? Chef’s kiss. Bonus points if you shop at a Masai market while you’re there—Wednesdays & Thursdays at Sarit Centre, daily at Lavington Mall, and weekends at the CBD.
Food…
Yes, judge me—I ate Nigerian food in Kenya. But the real stars? The potato dishes. Absolute bangers. Nyama Choma? Forever a fave. Their Tilapia and Kingfish? Perfection. Ugali? Never, not for me. Chapati? Acceptable. That stir-fried spinach thing? Loved it, but I forgot the name.
Music…
Is it just me, or did Apple tweak their music player? In semi-silent spaces, I can hear the adlibs and background layers in deep cuts—like Olivia Dean’s UFO. It has at least three vocal layers above 70% volume. Or maybe it’s just spatial audio? Either way, it’s an immersive experience.
I should be studying for my certification exam, but I’ve been holding onto this draft for too long. So here you go!
Stay jiggy folks!