I arrived at the bus pick-up point at Ikẹja, determined to embark on this journey clear-eyed and present. In 2021, I took this exact trip with a bus full of strangers because I needed to prove that I could have new experiences alone. This was a successful endeavour and some of the people I met on that trip are still my friends today. For the 2021 trip, escaping was my primary goal. Why’s that you ask? I had a toxic job that kept me confined to a grey building with dull lights for 10+ hours. The average age was 40 and my light, extraverted self stuck out like a sore thumb because I didn’t fit into the “serious lawyer” narrative. I had worked for 8 months straight without a day off, probation delayed by my biggest bully (the boss). Now here I was with 5 working days to myself. Sleeping at home wasn’t enough, I needed a place away from home, to meet new people, and live a new experience without the anxiety of sticking out. The tour company answered many questions in the month leading up to the trip, I had been worried about money too but it all came together nicely the day before departure. Bags and psychedelic chinchin packed, GC was ready to take on the world
(well that’s what I thought). The moment I got on the bus, said my hellos and made introductions where necessary. To an untrained eye, I was “good vibes” but the lies I performed to others did not translate internally. Anxiety washed over me like bath water and suddenly I needed my blanket and privacy, I needed to escape those feelings of not belonging so I ate my chinchin and bought food for the road. That was my best solo trip yet. Upon getting back to Lagos, I knew corporate law practice would keep me in a constant loop of toxicity and escape so I called a friend and started my cybersecurity journey. Two years after that decision, I was getting on the bus again for a slightly different experience this time. Two of my friends were convinced this time to join the trip. We made many memories and I prioritized rest, The resort was lovely, and the weather was not so good but I didn’t feel an overwhelming urge to escape. I ate well, avoided overly personal conversations and read my book while making silly jokes throughout the trip.
This trip was a self-assured one, all the stress I felt before leaving melted away at each unnecessary checkpoint the Nigerian Law enforcement mounted on the border road. The closer we were to the resort, the more my body yearned for rest. I no longer needed escape, my goal was to rest and it kept me grounded when things got chaotic.
Let me tell you about the chaos on that road, and I’ll start by saying that the average law enforcement officer in Nigeria is motivated by greed. Not the kind where you still want to eat even if your stomach is full (nah that could be driven by lack), the kind that robs you of your dignity, the one that makes you feel self-important in foolishness.
We encountered and got stopped at about 15 checkpoints leaving Nigeria through the Idiroko border. Crossing into Benin Republic we passed 3 checkpoints and one was a toll. Where the Nigerian officers employed many different ways to extort us, the Béninoise ones were concerned with our purpose of travel. Or is it our Nigerian driver who refused better judgment and drove us into 2 ditches during heavy rainfall? For context, the stretch of road to our resort looks like the picture below and it is a 50-minute drive along the coast. It also rained heavily that day so his amenability to suggestions would have saved us from disembarking the bus at least 2 times out of 4.
Oh, he used the bus till the tank was empty and insisted on us buying fuel despite being paid for it. Upon buying bad fuel the bus jerked to a stop and ọga driver remembered his 25L stash of fuel (yes we had fuel the whole time, he just didn’t want to share).
The other members of the travelling group are not spared this drag because I have a problem with people masking their fears with faith. We had been informed about the visit to the python temple in Ouidah before we left Lagos, tell me why some Negative Nancies started whining about how the temple goes against their faith immediately we set out to see it. Their musings went from “I’m not entering the temple o”, “what they’re doing is demonic”, when asked why they think so the response was some regurgitated jargon about “idol worship”. I asked if they knew what the name of the land used to be they said no, I asked if they bothered to research why the villagers worshipped at the temple and walked across the road for mass thereafter (obviously they didn’t know either).
“Dahomey” loosely translated by our young guide means “from the mouth of the snake”. The Royal python (a non-venoumous snake commonly found in Ouidah) became a deity to the people of Ouidah after it saved the kingdom of Dahomey from invasion by the French many years ago. The people of Ouidah also adopted the worship of Ogun (god of iron) alongside the python within the same temple and as I said before, the biggest church in Ouidah is just across the road from the temple. Imagine my amusement when the Jesus babies strolled into the temple to buy crafts and souvenirs almost at the end of our tour. Clearly the demons know better than to possess handwoven baskets, cowrie bracelets and fridge magnets. I have no issue with faith, my problem is with people who refuse to separate it from facts and their own personal sentiments. They are the kinds to collect Eid meat and trash it because it is part of a ritual/demonic practice whereas they are also depriving people who would have benefitted from a free meal by wasting food. The kinds to say touch not my anointed when a religious leader is accused of fraud or sexual assault, judge single mothers and cry on the internet when someone they consider unmarriageable bags a good partner and has a blissful marriage.
The popular saying “to each his own” remains an anchor when I think about living a life I need no escape from. This trip started off as an escape from the stress of work and life in general (many moving parts in my life right now) but I ended up doing the things that brought me joy without regrets or anxiety. With the awareness that I had work to return to, spending 3 hours driving around a countryside resort with my longtime friend became quality time spent in good company, breakfast after school runs was a welcome detour from a gallery visit. Getting my chicken drumstick snatched off my plate by my friend’s son was a funny inconvenience after spending a ridiculous amount of time at the salon on a week night.
There was a time I considered all these activities boring, now I crave lazy days indoors, a whole day of netflix and chill, and silence that lets me sit with my thoughts. I’m content with my life today and I hope it remains so with every path I tread in the kaleidoscope of adventures that is my life.
Stay Jiggy,
xx
🤣🤣🤣🤣jesus babies, tear my head