Victim is Guilty

"Harrassment" for International Women's Day

Good day to conscious women and conscious women ALONE!

Yesterday, a new mom told me something so absurd, so horrifying, that I had to sit with it for a moment to process. In some general hospitals in Lagos, babies are denied immunization if their mothers are "caught" feeding them with a bottle. Yes, you read that right—caught, as though nourishing your child through an alternative method is a crime.

As someone who knows women who have struggled with breastfeeding aversion or latch refusal for reasons ranging from medical conditions to sheer physical discomfort, I was dismayed to learn of this ridiculous practice. Imagine doing everything in your power to keep your child healthy, only to be shamed and punished for it.

The nurses at these immunization centers don’t just stop at disapproval; they make a full spectacle of it. They degrade and bully non-compliant mothers by moving their appointment cards to the bottom of the pile, subjecting them to public shaming, and even outright refusing service to those who push back—especially if they’re visibly career women. It’s not just insensitive; it’s a cruel, exhausting burden to place on new mothers who are already sleep-deprived, overstimulated, and battling anxiety about keeping their newborns alive while also meeting society’s expectations of what a "good mother" should be.

And before you smugly suggest, "Just go to a private hospital," wipe that look off your face. A huge percentage of Nigerians can barely access healthcare, let alone afford private care. Let’s also not forget that our healthcare system is heavily reliant on foreign aid—the very same aid that a certain orange-tinted man just slashed with the swish of a pen and a few troll videos on the official POTUS Instagram page. Add poor health education and abysmal living standards to the mix, and you’ll see why no woman deserves to be at the mercy of a poorly trained nurse’s misplaced power trip.

Of course, there’s enough blame to go around, but I’m more interested in actual solutions. Nigerian healthcare providers in state-run institutions are overworked, underpaid, and trapped in toxic work environments that start right from medical school. Years of being treated poorly lead to maladaptive behaviors, desensitization, and, frankly, a deep-seated bitterness that is then unleashed on the most vulnerable. If I were on the receiving end of such treatment, I’d push back just as aggressively, document everything, and escalate to the relevant regulators. If we’re serious about change, we need strict disciplinary measures and mandatory retraining for staff who see their roles as opportunities to play dictator rather than caregiver.

The Cost of Defying Patriarchy in Nigeria

This past month, the entire country watched in real time as a so-called "simple disagreement" in the Senate spiraled into a full-blown media witch hunt against a woman who dared to challenge Nigeria’s deeply entrenched patriarchal structures. Senator Natasha Akpoti was subjected to everything from crude remarks about her looks at her swearing-in ceremony to allegations of sexual harassment by the Senate President himself—right in front of her husband.

Her decision to file a formal petition was met with the full force of institutional backlash: public discrediting by her colleagues, an absurd disciplinary hearing chaired by none other than her alleged aggressor, and, ultimately, a guilty verdict for "violating Senate rules." The whole timeline is so enraging that I refuse to unpack it further because it will turn this blog post into a rage-fueled rant. But I’ll say this—big ups to Natasha Akpoti for standing firm. She may not win this round, but her courage will inspire another woman to fight, and judging by the panicked, defensive reactions from the establishment, some people are shaking in their boots.

A Word to Corporations That Miss the Mark Every Year

After surviving the cringe-fest that was International Women’s Day in Nigeria, I have a few words for corporate brands that refuse to read the room during Women’s History Month.

First of all, "leading through servitude" is not a virtue reserved for women. We do not come with pre-installed humility software, and you would do well to remember that when you lazily hand over your Women’s Day campaign copy to the only male member of your Comms/Marketing team.

The same goes for mixed-gender teams where leadership is so detached that they don’t realize how their sexist messaging reinforces harmful narratives about women’s place in Nigerian society. And don’t even get me started on the dummies who give misogynist men a platform at Women’s Day events. You have over 360 days in the year to be on the wrong side of history—why must you pick this one?

Things I Enjoyed…

Things I Enjoyed…

• Listening and Judging
  Yes, I went out in Lagos, and let me tell you—clubs here now cater exclusively to people with questionable sources of income or the ultra-rich with zero taste. They will never make me like bottle service. It’s overpriced, underwhelming, and a blatant money grab. Ewww.

• This Article by Archivi.ng
  100 Women in Nigerian History You Probably Don’t Know But Should—a much-needed deep dive into the stories of women who shaped our past but were conveniently erased from mainstream narratives.

• Enforcing Boundaries When It Seemed Most Difficult
  I love this for me. Truly.

• Olivia Dean’s "Touching Toes"
  It’s giving gentle rebellion, and I am here for it.

• Some Messy Tea!
  Because I am, at my core, a Lagos babe.

• Sex and the City (Again, With a Fully Developed Frontal Lobe)
  Watching this show as an adult hits different. Some of these plotlines should’ve been illegal.

I had more to say about the workplace harassment of Nigerian women, but my caffeine-fueled inspiration has run its course. We’ll pick that up next time.

Stay loud, stay defiant, and for the love of God, stay hydrated.